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Mar. 25th, 2009

18

18
is an amalgam of ironies.

It is an awkward mix of numbers -- the first being slender, and the second digit being stout and rounded.

While people are considered legal at this age, the number mocks its bearer that one is still "A"-teen -- an immature individual who cannot cope with the stresses of life.

The number itself falsifies. It gives one the impression that s/he is strong or responsible because of the years s/he had gained, but fails in comparison to the other (75-18) ages older and wiser than s/he is.

It isn't such a truthful number.

One doesn't have to be eighteen to be considered mature, or strong, or any other positive non-immature adjective.

One doesn't have to be eighteen to be responsible or advanced in one's ken or skill bank.

NINI is a testament to this. She has been strong, mature and responsible way before she was eighteen, way back when we first started to remember. She had all the love for her siblings and family from her childhood; and this love still grows, carefully, lovingly.

She is eighteen now, and however confusing and erratic the characteristics of  the bearers of that age is, for us, she will always be at the brighter side of the bevy.

http://ninipangit.multiply.com

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Sasabihin Mo Ba?

Sasabihin mo ba ang mga bagay na matagal mo nang
nais sabihin sa indibidwal na iyong
nais sabihan?

Maiilang ka,
Mahihiya.
Kikimi at titiklop.

"Awkward," ika nga.
Maraming maaaring mawala.

Ngunit kung iisipin, ano nga ba talaga ang mawawala kung
ang mga salitang nakapinid sa ating mga isipa't
puso'y kongkreto nating
ipakikita o sasambitin?

Eh demongas
naman,
kung hindi natin sasabihin ang mga bagay na ito,
isa lamang
            ang
            bagay
             na
                                                 mawawala:
                                                                 ORAS.
Sa katanungan sa taas, oo
ang kasagutan.

Sasabihin ko na sa kanila:

"Ma, Pa, I love you, too"
"Mommy, Daddy, nahihirapan ako sa kurso ko. Puwede patulong?"
"----, salamat sa pagiging tunay na kaibigan!"
"----, hindi ko nagugustuhan ang mga bagay na ginagawa mo ngayon."
"----, bago ka umalis, may sasabihin ako sa'yo."

Hindi naman lahat ng bagay kailangang ikulong.
Sa magkatulad na lohikang

may mga bagay na dapat itago,
may  mga  bagay  rin  na  kailangang  ibunyag.

----

"-38.83"
Things left unsaid are like
quicksilver in the blood
stream.

Mar. 18th, 2009

CONGRATULATIONS ATE TRACY!

CUM LAUDE palan ha?
Hahaha. Wooh!

CONGRATULATIONS Ate Tracy!!! :D
USI BSN Batch 2009
You deserve it! Sobra!
Sobrang proud man kami saimo!

RN! WOOH!

Feb. 28th, 2009

Mga Pasasalamat

Maraming salamat po sa mga panalanging iyong inialay sa aking mahal na lolo.
Nasa higit na magandang lunan na siya ngayon,
Dahil nasa kanyang Ama na siya.

Ang masasabi ko lamang:
Napakaganda ng kanyang burol at libing.

Sa araw-araw na nakaburol siya sa funeraria, tila gripong bumubuhos ang mga tao upang bumisita at manalangin. Hindi nawalan ng tubig ang gripong yaon.

Sa kanyang huling misa, hindi mabilang ng isang Casio calculator ang pumunta; may kakaibang kapayapaan at awra sa mukha ng mga tao.

Sa kanyang huling hantungan, marami mang luha ang itinangis, subalit sa huli'y kailangan pa ring magtiwala, sapagkat hindi kailanman mawawala ang legasiya at alaala ng isang kagaya ni Joseph L. Abante.

Narito pa rin siya: nagmamasid, humahalakhak. Magpakailanma'y hindi siya maglalaho sa puso ng kanyang mga minamamahal.

Muli akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng nakiramay at nanalangin para sa kanya. :) Salamat po.

---

"Encounters with death will either consume you or strengthen you. How you choose to face death makes all the difference."

If ever you're wondering why I haven't been myself in Manila lately is it's because of this. My second sem has literally been a series of episodes of tears and depression because I couldn't accept that he would soon be gone. The result: a corresponding depression in my school life, and in the way I handled my responsibilities and treated my friends. I faced my lolo's death with nothing but fear and tears.

Well, I'm done crying and moping. I have good legs. I should stand up and walk forward. Abante.

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Feb. 21st, 2009

Dai Ko Na Siya Naabutan

Nagpangadyi muna ako sa Gesu bago ako naghali sa Ateneo. Madiklom si laog kang simbahan, tapos medyo mainit-init sa sentro kung sain ako pirming nagtutukaw pag nagpapangadyi. Madali nang mag alas sais kan naglaog ako, tapos mga sarong oras ako nagtagal ta medyo haloy man si mga petisyon tapos pasasalamat ko Saiya. Dai pa kuta ako mahali, ta talagang pinapangadyi ko si Daddy (Daddy ang apod ko sa lolo ko), kaya lang medyo kinabahan ako kang napahiling ako sa repleksyon kang buong simbahan sa kisameng salming kainiyo. (Ta pag banggi, nahihiling ang repleksyon kang laog miski klaro an salming.)

Mga tulong "pew" karayo sa'ko, may nahiling akong sarong taong nakaputi -- akala ko American Jesuit priest na nangangadyi man. Pero kan nagsalingoy ako, mayo man palan tao. Siyempre napahiling ulit ako sa taas ta gusto kong siguraduhon si nahiling ko pero ngunyan, may narisa pa akong sarong taong nakaluhod sa mas harayo na pew. Nakaputi man siya, tapos nagpapangadyi. Kang nagsalingoy ako, narisa kong ako lang ang taong nasa laog kang buong simbahan.

Ta malabo ang mata ko, dai ko nahiling si mga mukha kan mga nahiling ko sa repleksiyon, pero narisa ko na dai man sinda naghihiro -- si saro, nakatukaw lang; si saro, nakaluhod. Kinabahan ako ta namati ko si presensiya kang lolo ko. Kaya maski gusto kong makisabay sa auntie ko ta sa sunod na aldaw pa mahali, tapos para menos gastos man kina mama, napagdesisyunan kong sa bangging ito mismo na lang maghali.

Kan nagluwas ako, nag-agi ako sa may aisle kan pew. Nagtango ako tapos nagpasalamat sa pagpahiling ninda, kung sa isay man sinda, ta dai man talaga ako sigurado kung talagang nagpamati si lolo ko.

Nagsakay akong Raymond bus sa Cubao nin alas diyes nin banggi tapos nakaabot ako sa Naga nin pasado alas sais nin aga, tapos nagpamahaw kami nina mama tapos papa.

Pag-abot na pag-abot mi sa harong, bigla na lang may nagsabi na nagadan na si Daddy. 6:45 daa nin maagahon si pronouncement of death. Sabi ngani nin papa, hinalat lang daa si Anointing of the Sick na ginibo kansuudmang banggi. Ang nagpapataka lang sako, halos magkasabay si anointing (mga alas-siyete nin banggi daa sabi ni Papa) sa panahon na nasa laog ako nin Gesu.

Kinirilabutan ako. Ngunyan ko lang narisa na dai ko siya naabutan sa Bicol.

Habo ko nang istoryahon si ibang nangyari ngunyan na aldaw; dai ko na aram kung ano ang sasabihon ko eh.

***

Para sa mga Bicolano, nakaburol si Daddy sa Funeraria Imperial sa Peñafrancia. Kung gusto nindong magbisita, text lang nindo ako. Nakiki-insert lang akong sim card sa mama ko ta dai ko nadara si charger kang cp ko saka sa phone memory nakasave ang mga contact, kaya kung pwede magpabistado kamo.

Dios Mabalos!

Ipangadyi man tabi nindo si Daddy.

Feb. 18th, 2009

I Envision

I envision

another excruciating eight-hour bus ride to Naga.

And it's not because of the cold
Or of the bus.

Feb. 12th, 2009

:)

I tried to
       google
                 ":)"


Google replied:

"Your search - :) - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

  • Try different keywords."

Why isn't a smile enough for you?

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Feb. 9th, 2009

YOU Blog

A Compilation of Apostrophes
[concept gotten from Apo, name gotten from ryankiji]

Also, don't fish. I'll never tell you anything about who these you's are. :)) I tell you.
If I was able to PM everyone in my previous blog, I can keep this promise for sure. :)

1. I love you because you're amazing and talented and beautiful inside-out. You're also very nice, but lately you've been cold. You also haven't replied to any of my text messages recently. But it's OK. I understand.

2. You weren't there for me when I was down. I'm actually very disappointed that you weren't able to notice my subtle hints. But I still love you because of what we've been through. Even if we are where we are standing now, I still appreciate and cherish the fact that you've been there, at least in a span of time.

3. You are my ultimate idol. I love you because you're already part of my existence -- of who I am, and who I want to be. You are just one of those noteworthy, real persons who are not afraid of other people's judgments. You're are inspiration, if not to a lot of people around you, at least to me. I thank you for being an integral part of my personhood.

4. You treat me like I'm not human at times, so sometimes you irritate me. I know you're rich, but you don't have to shove it into my face. I know I'm not as materially blessed as you, but please...

5. You act like you're all that. You also swear a lot. You are one big piece of crap. But you're my best friend. Thank you for being who you are. :) Just watch what you say at times, and lessen repetitive slaps to my shoulder for they irritate and distract.

6. You are one amazing singer, probably the best I've heard. You are one of the closest people to me and I am just astonished by your radiance. You really are one of the biggest blessings that ever came to my life. ;)

7. You are the second person I wish to emulate. It's a shame you're not here, though; it would be a blast if you were. Your intelligence and immense talent do not in any way cloud the way you treat others, at least in my perspective. I think you haven't reached your fullest potential, though; but even in this stage, you're already an eye-catching comet in a sky full of bright stars. Keep on shining. :) I know you'll get that this is you.

8. You probably hold the world record of the number of Ken-teases in thirty seconds, but you always manage to put me back to the ground when I get too caught in flight. You are, in many ways, a source of inspiration and hope. It is to you I vent out a lot of my frustrations, and despite the drudgery, you always make me feel at home.

9. I love you because you are you, and I am myself, and we will never mix, unless I add a surfactant to our chemical equation.

10. You've been my friend for two-digit years already. And I've only lived for two-digit years. We've had conflicts in the past, but now I recognize that without you, I would never have gotten to where I am now. So I really really thank you for imparting practically a lot of yourself to me. I love you because you are genuine, and our friendship has stood the tests of time.

Again, don't fish.

Feb. 5th, 2009

Sino Ka?

Hey you!

Yes you!

Leave a comment and I'll PM you something juicy about who you are to my life. :)

I'll be really frank, so go. :D

I'll tell you something about your "blind spot," as called by our INTACT faci Sir Al Javier.

Feb. 3rd, 2009

RNT

Hay naku.

Pagod na ako.

Na naman.

Sana makatulog ako mamaya.

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